|Isn't that what you picture too? Also this.|
So why do we both keep feeling the alternating emotions of dread, despair, anxiety and malaise on a rotating basis every 15 minutes? I think it's because we're both a little "high strung" by nature. And while in my mind, high strung couples are like this:
They're also like this:
with the ability to look at real estate listings for four hours straight and feel like we have absolutely no idea what we are doing. I'm talking "in my pjs, with nothing in my stomach but a cup of coffee, zombie in front of the computer screen," straight, because I can't seem to think about anything else.
But just now, I had a thought over my favorite 1PM summer breakfast of soft-boiled eggs, avocado toast, smoked salmon and coconut water. (I know, mmmm, right?)
And that thought was: I should blog about this.
Now, those of you who have told me you miss my blog are probably saying:
And thank you for missing me, I miss you too. I was sort of going through this, "I don't want to share my life online" phase. And it was working because nothing was really bothering me for a while. I felt like I kept posting about my fabulous weekends, which is fun sometimes, but I hate reading blogs that just post about fun times they're having all of the time. They get boring, and I didn't want to write that blog. So in the meantime, my sister got married, I took a trip to Iceland, Lake Huron and California, I worked on my novel, did some fun city day trips, read books and watched movies, and didn't tell you guys about any of it.
Then Alex and I decided we're definitely going to have a kid eventually- but I didn't want to tell anyone. Then we decided we want to try to buy a place to live- but I didn't want to tell anyone. Then we thought, we're even going to look in New Jersey (!)- but I didn't want to tell anyone.
Well, over toast and eggs this afternoon, I decided I should tell everyone. Because I think it will make me feel better. Here is a list of the million and 20 things going on in my house hunting head:
- Is there a good public school system near by?
- What is better, living in a nice neighborhood in Brooklyn in a small apartment, or living in a nice neighborhood in NJ, in a house with a long commute to work?
- Can we really afford this?
- Change is scary!
- Taxes (NJ) and maintenance fees (NY) are total bummers.
We've been pre-approved for a mortgage, but that didn't make us feel anymore secure. So far we're not really working with an agent, just going to open houses and looking online. Can anyone explain to me what exactly "working with an agent" means even? Also it feels like every damn place we show the tiniest interest in is suddenly "in contract." It's like on one hand, people are telling you to think this decision through, don't rush into anything and on the other it feels like if we don't put a bid on something immediately it will be in contract by the time we decide to.
So, I'm going to take a deep breath, remember that this is a really good problem to have and feel some gratitude,
and hope that you guys write some reassuring, advice filled thoughts in the comments. That is, if you're still following and reading my blog. I hope that you are because it feels good to be back.