Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer- William S. Burroughs
I’ve been having one of those days where I couldn't seem to step away from the internet. And yet, what I was doing on the internet was in no way useful. It wasn't inspiring me to write my own blog posts, it wasn't inspiring me to work on my novel. I have these days more than I would like to admit, and often find myself feeling guilty and hopeless about them, which usually makes me think, I might as well keep having a day of doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself, and the cycle continues.
I was finally able to walk away from the screen however, to take myself to an afternoon yoga class. Before we began, the teacher read a yogic analogy about taming a stallion. The moral of the story was that to tame a stallion, you must let it run wild until it feels tired, and then it will be ready to be tame. The teacher asked us to think of the stallion as our mind. And suddenly a light bulb went off in mine. I had to resist the urge to jump up and leave, because suddenly I had something to write about!
My mind had been that stallion all day long, and the internet was it's rolling hills. But instead of shaming myself for how I'd spent my day, maybe it was what I needed to get to that tame or creative place I was craving.
Maybe I needed to be wild in order to quiet my mind.
Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying it's okay to spend everyday not working on something you're trying to accomplish, but what I think I've realized, is that I need to trust myself and my mind.
I need to trust that I am the kind of person who will come back to my goals.
I will come back to my creativity if I trust myself to let my mind go wild from time to time. Because eventually, I'm going to get tired of that and my mind will just give me the answers. Willingly, like we're friends rather than enemies.
It's a funny thing, wanting to do one thing, and yet your mind having a mind of it's own. Don't we all feel like we have a stallion mind sometimes?
PS- I thought I'd go with an image of William S. Burroughs to avoid this post becoming too new age-y. Hey, the Beats were into that Zen stuff too!